So far we’ve narrowed it down to Selkie or Rainbow Gerbil – both of which meet some, if not all, of the criteria for naming boats. You see, I believe that boats, like brands, should be memorably named, and reflect something positive about their owners. They should also beg a question or two in new ports to help break the ice. The name should ideally be no more than two syllables and definitely not some naff mnemonic made up of yours and your pet’s names.

Taken to its logical extreme, you might, for example, name your boat “Yo Momma!” Thus when asked the name of your boat, you’d say, “Yo Momma!” To which your inquisitor would rightly reply with a fist in your face. Your ‘brand’ thus demonstrates your preferences for bar fights and generally getting the crap kicked out of you. Needless to say, Yo Momma! hasn’t made the cut on our list of boat names.

Here’s a short selection of ideas, please post your favorites or better ideas, within the rules of naming outlined above, of course.

  • Rainbow Gerbil – two words of two syllables apiece – so not bad. Logic would dictate a dinghy named RG Bargie as a companion. Her port of call would naturally be Portlandia, Oregon.
  • Selkie – pretty much meets all the criteria, the question of dinghy naming remains open at this point.
  • Boaty McBoatface – fails miserably.
  • Schrodiger’s Cat – but only if she’s a catamaran.
  • Banjo – not a mnemonic, but still a (highly favored) pet name. The dinghy would be Annie, and the life raft Marlon. BAM! Just like that!
  • Carol – then name the dinghy Lynn and when docked the boat would be C, L, Quay. It’s a stretch, okay?
  • Anagrams like Karmic (from the letters carolmike) also lead right to Miracle, Earlock, and Calorie.

And, well, that’s pretty much it right now… any and all suggestions appreciated…

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