{"id":13377,"date":"2023-05-07T03:20:27","date_gmt":"2023-05-07T07:20:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aleta.life\/?p=13377"},"modified":"2026-05-14T14:48:21","modified_gmt":"2026-05-14T18:48:21","slug":"spanish-customs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aleta.life\/index.php\/2023\/05\/07\/spanish-customs\/","title":{"rendered":"Spanish Customs"},"content":{"rendered":"
Pop Quiz!<\/h6>\n

You have ten minutes to complete this quiz. Good luck!<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. You are motoring late at night towards the lights of M\u00e1laga. A vessel appears off your port side, but not on your Automated Identification System. Is it:\n
      \n
    1. A fishing vessel trying to hide itself?<\/li>\n
    2. The cops?<\/li>\n
    3. Armed hijackers?<\/li>\n
    4. The other cops?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
    5. A fast-moving inflatable boat pulls up and hits you with a high intensity beam. Do you:\n
        \n
      1. Slow down<\/li>\n
      2. Speed up<\/li>\n
      3. Throw up your hands and shout \u201cHijo de puta!\u201d in a faux Spanish accent<\/li>\n
      4. All of the above<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
      5. When a heavily armed crew announces they are from Spanish Customs and asks if they can come on board. Do you:\n
          \n
        1. Mutter under your breath: \u201cWhere\u2019s Marlon when we need him?\u201d<\/li>\n
        2. Reply: \u201c\u00a1Por supuesto! Mi barco, es tu barco!\u201d<\/li>\n
        3. Reply: \u201cAre all Customs agents as good looking as you?\u201d<\/li>\n
        4. Reply: \u201cBlow it out your shorts, pretty boy! This is sovereign US territory and we don\u2019t take kindly to strangers pokin\u2019 around in our business!\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
        5. Four men clamber out of the Zodiac and stand on the side deck. Do you:\n
            \n
          1. Rush below and pick up all your dirty clothes?<\/li>\n
          2. Invite them down to the salon for a glass of Ramon Bilbao Crianza<\/a>?<\/li>\n
          3. Ask if it\u2019s okay to grab a selfie with them?<\/li>\n
          4. Ask them to remove their combat boots before coming into the cockpit?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n
          5. The agents, after all, are only bureaucrats with day-old beards. When they ask you a series of routine questions and fill out forms. Do you:\n
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            1. Tell the whole truth, no matter how incredible it might sound?<\/li>\n
            2. Tell them what you think they want to hear, speaking in gringo Spanish?<\/li>\n
            3. Answer each question with another question? After all that\u2019s what consultants do.<\/li>\n
            4. Plead the Fifth and call for a lawyer?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              Scoring: for each answer award yourself the following points:<\/p>\n