{"id":4365,"date":"2019-12-31T16:11:48","date_gmt":"2019-12-31T20:11:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aleta.life\/?p=4365"},"modified":"2022-04-02T09:48:25","modified_gmt":"2022-04-02T16:48:25","slug":"perfect-vision","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aleta.life\/index.php\/2019\/12\/31\/perfect-vision\/","title":{"rendered":"Perfect Vision"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aleta.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/The_Jolly_Nero.jpg?ssl=1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4372 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aleta.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/The_Jolly_Nero.jpg?resize=216%2C301&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"216\" height=\"301\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aleta.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/The_Jolly_Nero.jpg?resize=373%2C520&amp;ssl=1 373w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aleta.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/The_Jolly_Nero.jpg?resize=735%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 735w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aleta.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/The_Jolly_Nero.jpg?resize=768%2C1070&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aleta.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/The_Jolly_Nero.jpg?resize=1102%2C1536&amp;ssl=1 1102w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aleta.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/The_Jolly_Nero.jpg?resize=144%2C200&amp;ssl=1 144w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aleta.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/The_Jolly_Nero.jpg?w=1200&amp;ssl=1 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 216px) 100vw, 216px\" \/><\/a>It\u2019s a new year and a new decade. With 20\/20 foresight here are our top 10 predictions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Psychiatrists will define a pathological fear of St. Nicholas as Claustrophobia.<\/li>\n<li>Orbiting NASA scientists working on zero gravity experiments will accidentally wipe out all their test data. The mission commander will apologize for dropping the ball.<\/li>\n<li>Sales in the no-iron clothing industry will continue to decrease.<\/li>\n<li>Banking reform finally gains traction as the industry loses interest and seeks change in monetary policy.<\/li>\n<li>Brexit will be followed by Grexit, Departugal, Italeave, Franckoff, Czechout, Oustria, Finaland, Latervia, Byegium, until the EU is reduced to the state of Germonly.<\/li>\n<li>Addicts of the hokey-pokey will finally turn themselves around.<\/li>\n<li>Dramatic declines in oil revenues will force Saudi Arabia to diversify into dairy farming, giving rise to a generation of milk sheiks.<\/li>\n<li>Musicologists will confirm that Beethoven\u2019s favorite fruit was the ba-na-na-na.<\/li>\n<li>The Admiralty will finally determine the difference between a politician and a dock line: a dock line must be secured to the ship before it is thrown overboard.<\/li>\n<li>A Democrat will wake up in hospital after a five years-long coma and immediately call the doctor to his bedside. He will say:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 80px;\">&#8220;Doctor, I need to know, who won the election? Was it Sanders? Clinton?&#8221;<br \/>\nThe doctor shakes her head. &#8220;Let me put it this way, there&#8217;s good news and there&#8217;s bad news.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;What&#8217;s the bad news?&#8221; the Democrat asks.<br \/>\n&#8220;Donald Trump is the President and has appointed a climate change denier as the head of the EPA. He\u2019s hired a close friend of Vladimir Putin as Secretary of State, and a billionaire who wants to privatize schools as Secretary of Education. In pretty much every single case, he has chosen the person least qualified to protect whatever they are in charge of.&#8221;<br \/>\nThe Democrat is visibly shaken, &#8220;How on earth could there be any good news?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Well,&#8221; the doctor says, &#8220;he&#8217;s also in charge of choosing his own Secret Service detail.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s a new year and a new decade. With 20\/20 foresight here are our top 10 predictions: Psychiatrists will define a pathological fear of St. Nicholas as Claustrophobia. Orbiting NASA scientists working on zero gravity experiments will accidentally wipe out &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4370,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[122],"tags":[514,513,8,26,512,299,511],"class_list":["post-4365","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humour","tag-20-20-vision","tag-513","tag-aleta","tag-aleta-life","tag-humor","tag-humour","tag-puns"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Perfect Vision - The Adventures of Aleta<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It\u2019s a new year and a new decade. With 20\/20 foresight here are our top 10 predictions:\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/aleta.life\/index.php\/2019\/12\/31\/perfect-vision\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Perfect Vision - The Adventures of Aleta\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It\u2019s a new year and a new decade. With 20\/20 foresight here are our top 10 predictions:\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/aleta.life\/index.php\/2019\/12\/31\/perfect-vision\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Adventures of Aleta\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-12-31T20:11:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-04-02T16:48:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/aleta.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/jen-theodore-Yu5fd5paLlc-unsplash.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1067\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Mike\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Mike\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/aleta.life\\\/index.php\\\/2019\\\/12\\\/31\\\/perfect-vision\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/aleta.life\\\/index.php\\\/2019\\\/12\\\/31\\\/perfect-vision\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Mike\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/aleta.life\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/540f61a1efd4d026d7b72e706e0d5531\"},\"headline\":\"Perfect Vision\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-12-31T20:11:48+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-04-02T16:48:25+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/aleta.life\\\/index.php\\\/2019\\\/12\\\/31\\\/perfect-vision\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":332,\"commentCount\":11,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/aleta.life\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/540f61a1efd4d026d7b72e706e0d5531\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/aleta.life\\\/index.php\\\/2019\\\/12\\\/31\\\/perfect-vision\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/i0.wp.com\\\/aleta.life\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2019\\\/12\\\/jen-theodore-Yu5fd5paLlc-unsplash.jpg?fit=1600%2C1067&ssl=1\",\"keywords\":[\"20\\\/20 Vision\",\"2020\",\"Aleta\",\"aleta.life\",\"Humor\",\"Humour\",\"Puns\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Humour\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/aleta.life\\\/index.php\\\/2019\\\/12\\\/31\\\/perfect-vision\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/aleta.life\\\/index.php\\\/2019\\\/12\\\/31\\\/perfect-vision\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/aleta.life\\\/index.php\\\/2019\\\/12\\\/31\\\/perfect-vision\\\/\",\"name\":\"Perfect Vision - The Adventures of Aleta\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/aleta.life\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/aleta.life\\\/index.php\\\/2019\\\/12\\\/31\\\/perfect-vision\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/aleta.life\\\/index.php\\\/2019\\\/12\\\/31\\\/perfect-vision\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/i0.wp.com\\\/aleta.life\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2019\\\/12\\\/jen-theodore-Yu5fd5paLlc-unsplash.jpg?fit=1600%2C1067&ssl=1\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-12-31T20:11:48+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-04-02T16:48:25+00:00\",\"description\":\"It\u2019s a new year and a new decade. 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