{"id":7417,"date":"2021-04-14T23:47:03","date_gmt":"2021-04-14T22:47:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aleta.life\/?p=7417"},"modified":"2021-04-15T07:58:53","modified_gmt":"2021-04-15T06:58:53","slug":"awww-futtocks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aleta.life\/index.php\/2021\/04\/14\/awww-futtocks\/","title":{"rendered":"Awww, Futtocks!"},"content":{"rendered":"

We are in Italy. We should learn Italian, no? Instead, my friend Tim called me the other morning in the wee hours his time and asked me, \u2018How are your futtocks<\/a>, old man?\u2019 Bemused and caught a little off guard by the term, I replied that my futtocks were fine, how are yours?<\/p>\n

Oh Those Brits<\/h6>\n

\"Tim-Fitzhigham\"<\/p>\n

Ever the Anglophile and philologist, it turns out that Tim had run across two British eccentricities bound up in the same story. The catalyst was, of coarse [sic \u2013 ed.<\/em>], the adventurer Tim Fitzhigham and his wonderful tale of rowing the English Channel in a bathtub. Having crossed the English Channel in Aleta<\/a> and read the entire Aubrey\/Maturin<\/a> series, I was in familiar territory.<\/p>\n

For those of you superficially aquainted with English culture, one of its tenets is the concept of \u2018having a go\u2019. That is to say, ask most any Brit if they\u2019d like to try something they\u2019ve never done before, they\u2019ll reply<\/span>, \u2018Well, I\u2019ll have a go\u2019, or \u2018…a bash\u2019. This attitude is perhaps best exemplified by George Harrison in A Hard Day\u2019s Night<\/a>. (George was my elder sister\u2019s favourite Beatle and many years later I came to appreciate why.) In a key scene he is asked (by proxy) if he can read lines, George replies, \u2018Well, I\u2019ll have a bash.\u2019<\/p>\n

Crapper or Bust<\/h6>\n

Thus, when Tim Fitzhigham<\/a> discovered the Channel had never been crossed in a bathtub, he decided he\u2019d have a go. After securing a copper bathtub from Thomas Crapper & Co, he needed instruction on maritime law. Eventually, he called the navy and through a mix up with the switchboard was put through to a rear admiral. Fitzhigham\u2019s only seafaring relative was his great uncle, who advised him to start any conversation with a member of the Royal Navy with the question, \u2018How are your futtocks, old man?\u2019 To which the proper reply is, \u2018At their furthest reach, dear boy.\u2019 With that greeting, the admiral and the Royal Navy were soon on board.<\/p>\n