Dogs and Documents

Position: 36°51’55.7″N 76°17’29.8″W 

“If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume was in charge?” – Jerry Seinfeld

A while back I wrote a piece about improvements to the US Customs and Immigration system. America is catching up to Canada with automation, pre-checks, and better data management. Plus, there’s apps for crossing into the United States that makes life for bona fide citizens a little easier.

But if you want to take your American dog to a country other than Canada, you’re in for a challenge. Now, I understand the issues of spreading diseases like rabies to island nations. Britain had kept itself rabies free for decades thanks to a draconian quarantine system. Animals entering the UK spent six months under the care of the authorities. When several cases of neglect finally hit the press, things moved in favor of Euro-pet passports. Passports that validate your pet’s health and allow free passage between signatory countries. It’s not a global solution and such passports don’t exist in America.  You’d think the United Nations would do something useful and solve the problem. They haven’t.

Catch-21

As a result, Marlon has had blood drawn and dispatched to Kansas. Rabies titres are indicators of his immunity to the disease and there’s only one place in the country that does that analysis. Once complete, Kansas sends his information via our examining vet* to the US Department of Agriculture for verification and certification. Here’s where we get into the catch-22.

The USDA certifies the health of pets only for specific countries, not generally. To do so requires they get proof of permission from the foreign governments, who require a certificate of health. In actuality, countries seem willing to give their permission ahead of seeing a health certificate, so it’s not a true Catch-22. It just seems like way more work than necessary.

From what we understand so far, the process works like this (and if you know something we don’t, for Dog’s sake tell us!):

1. Apply to the country you want to take your dog to (let’s say, The Bahamas)
2. We fill in forms and send them along with money to the Bahamian government
3. The Bahamas sends us back a form saying, Cool, bring Marlon!
4. That form goes to the USDA in Albany, NY who then certifies Marlon’s health based on the results of his titres from Kansas and his veterinary exam
5. All that information gets bundled up and when we land in the Bahamas we have to take Marlon to a veterinarian there within 48 hours for examination and clearance
6. If that goes as planned, then Marlon can get off the boat anywhere in the Bahamas
7. Rinse and repeat for as many countries as you want to visit – don’t forget, the Caribbean is full of little countries all doing their own thing

Bliss

And if you bugger it up? Some countries go as far as impounding and euthanizing your dog! Now, there’s probably nothing in this process a few hundred shekels judiciously distributed here and there can’t mitigate, but it’s still a lot of work and stress.

Marlon has the luxury of remaining blissfully unaware of all of this. Aside from suffering the indignity of repeated vet examinations, he can keep doing his doggy thing. This is one more example of the extensive hoops us humans jump through for our pets. I’ve no doubt that when the aliens land, they’ll assume our dogs are in charge.

*We’d like to put in a plug for Dr. Peter Gerlach and his team at the Dog & Cat Hospital in Norfolk, VA. They’ve been terrifically helpful throughout this process.

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