A Wanker with a Drone

Hiker

Nearing the end of our 12-mile hike around the Brecon Beacons three years ago we approached the brow of a hill before descending towards the car. A brackish pond to our left fed a small stream picturesquely cascading down the valley. Sheep wandered freely. Bleating and chewing cud and generally lending atmosphere (in more ways than one – ed.) to the scene. Satisfactorily tired after our exertions, we paused to admire the view towards England. A hiker steadily made his way towards us. The first human being we had seen in hours. As he approached, we assessed his demeanor with increasingly clarity.

Young, late 20s, trendily bearded, fit, and seemingly in his element, he gave all the signs of a confidence that comes with experience. Then, shattering the idyll, the unmistakable whine of a drone drilled into our right ears and out the left. It took a second, but we soon spotted the little aircraft over our heads as it turned back downhill gathering speed. The hiker passed us muttering in a northern brogue, “No matter where you go, there’s always some wanker with a drone!” From that point any time we heard the telltale whine of a drone, we repeated those words.

Blogger

As he left us, I grew conflicted. As a walker I most enjoy our time on the trail when we get away from people and hurly burly of modern technology. Getting off the grid forces us to reengage without distraction. Think about that for a moment. Remember those halcyon days of yore (in the 1980s), before cellphones, before social media, before the New York Times online edition? When we lived in what proved to be the last vestiges of a physical universe? That’s what I like about a good long hike.

Yet, as a blogger with unmet cinematic fantasies, the idea of including aerial shots of Aleta under sail, or panoramic views of crumbling historical sites is alluring. For half the price of a month’s medical insurance you can now buy a drone capable of putting you up in the air with all the safety of a video game. Thus, while I agreed wholeheartedly with our unnamed hiker’s sentiment, I could also see myself piloting a drone in the service of art.

Wanker

Today I am a wanker. (Not for the first time – ed.) We bought a DJI Mini 2 for much less than the price of a Sikorsky helicopter. Weighing in at under 250 grams, this drone does not require registration or licensing (for now). It can capture steady 4K video and fly for about 22 minutes on a single, swappable battery.

Not being an active video gamer, getting used to moving the camera in three dimensions simultaneously with the use of two joysticks and separate finger controls takes skill. And while the Mini can land automatically, it lacks some of the features of its bigger, more expensive siblings, like forward crash detection. Some serious practice is in my immediate future.

Pilot

Any childhood ambitions I had for becoming a pilot quickly died in my teens. Aside from being born half blind in one eye, my natural lack of coordination would have kept me out of the USAF pilot training program. That plus the fact I’m too tall to fit in any jet fighter (my knees would be left behind in the event of an emergency ejection). Knowing also that my brother represented the finest of the USAF’s pyromanical firefighters pushed the whole proposition out of my mind. Instead, 20 years ago I completed Star Wars Rogue Squadron as a flight leader (that was the moment I realized the physical world is vastly overrated.) Now I can put my X-Wing piloting experience to practical use.

Oceanvideographer

Shooting video of Aleta underway sea should be easy, right? Under reasonable flying conditions the only thing to crash into would be Aleta herself. The ultimate own goal in other words. Landing on a pitching deck might prove tricky, especially given all the halyards, stays and other rigging. But after a couple of practice runs on dry land, I’m naïvely overconfident to the point that I’m sure we can get the shots and bring them home.

Maiden

Below is a video of my maiden flight. No animals were harmed in the making of this video.