Better Red Than Dead

A Shot in the Dark

There’s a new sheriff in town. Italy’s most recent Prime Minister, Mario Draghi, ordered the country shutdown for the next 5-6 weeks. Covid infection rates spiked and areas that were yellow and orange turned red. For us that means restaurants are closed for everything but takeaway, while essential businesses like grocery stores, pharmacies, and wine shops remain open. We can exercise, but only in the immediate area.

The definition of ‘immediate’ is unclear. Given our druthers we’d be exercising in Palau or Freemantle, which, on a galactic scale, are just next door. Until we can determine if the park on the hill is still open for doggy business I fear Marlon will have to content himself with walks along the seafront.

Complicating things was this week’s suspension of AstraZeneca’s Covid vaccine due to an overabundance of caution. Less than 40 patients died from blood clots after receiving an AstraZeneca jab. Fewer than normally expected for the older, more frail recipients who received the first doses. After doling out 17 million shots it’s likely that such issues are correlation, not causality.

Delaying further vaccinations certainly condemns more (potential) Covid sufferers to death, but such trade-offs are rarely decided with logic. The anti-vaxxers are excited about the potential for vaccine failures, but their goal is to kill off as many of the very young, the elderly, and people of colour as they can.

Ours is a waiting game. As the United States ramps up vaccine distribution, I anticipate the same will happen here. Given that public health is woven into the fabric of the EU, I also expect that even as foreigners we will have access to vaccinations. It’s either that or boarding an airplane back to America and getting our injections there when we’re eligible. The downside of that plan is not knowing when Italy’s borders will reopen to non-residents. On the plus side, Mario Draghi stopped a shipment of vaccines from going to Australia and threatened to do so again. Not good for the Aussies, but they have plenty of Bundaberg Rum to tide them over.

The Mill on the Fluff

Meanwhile, the rumour mill continues to spread disinformation. Even apparently intelligent people like Elon Musk can’t be bothered to do their homework and spread nonsense. Until they catch the disease themselves. Should you find yourself succumbing to Covid conspiracy twaddle step away from social media for a few days and take a long, socially distanced walk in fresh air.

For the rest of you, here is one of my favourite Covid-19 conspiracy theories: The Covid – 5G Connection

Belief in this conflation of telecommunications technology and the spread of the Covid virus combines so many levels of stupidity that the joy of a terrible pun is almost entirely lost. If that needs explanation, the moment has, for you, sadly passed. (Hint: they both rely on cellular transmission – ed.)

As idiot theories go, this one grew legs and Borg-like fused with another theory – that Bill Gates was leading a cabal of billionaires bent on wiping out large sections of the ‘non-contributory’ population. In Italy this morphed into a plot to inject microchips into an unsuspecting populace, presumably for the purposes of mind control. Adding a circuit diagram lent a sort of bumpkin verisimilitude to the misinformation. Turns out the schematic in question is for a Boss Metal Zone guitar pedal. The oxymoronic irony of this kind of thinking continues to baffle and amuse. Meanwhile, head bangers everywhere banged their heads.

Public Service Section

• If you feel you may be vulnerable to conspiracy theories, there is a short test you can take: Conspiracy Theory Quiz
• Here is a practical guide for handling conspiracy theories: Conspiracy Theory Handbook
• And here is a link to the WHO’s Covid-19 mythbuster’s page: World Health Organization – Mythbusters

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