Orders o’ th’ Captain

Editor’s Note

This document dates from the 18th century. It discusses how a pirate ship ‘The Fagend’ [sic] dealt with a disease identified here as ‘Plague-19’. Captain Diarmid “Blunderbuss” Pew was one of the most notorious and ruthless Borborygme pirates. The fate of the Fagend and its crew is not known. The document is transcribed below in its entirety.

Orders of the Captain

All crew needs t’ consider how best t’ belay th’ spread o’ Plague-19 ‘n lower th’ impact in this ‘ere ship. This may include goin’s on in one or more o’ th’ followin’ areas:

• Quit fornicatin’ among th’ deck’ hands,
• Maintain proper ship’s workin’s, ‘n
• Keep yer brass monkees healthy
• Crew wi’ nasties like, fever, hackin’, or shortness o’ breath, should tell th’ officer o’ th’ watch ‘n stay at least a fathom apart from any man.
• Sick hands will do as I tell ye! Or I’ll keel haul every last one o’ ye! Ye should nah return t’ duty ’til I tell ye.
• Malingerers will be banished t’ th’ bilges fer th’ duration o’ th’ voyage ‘n kept thar ’til I sez ye can come out again. Any complainin’ will be punished by 50 lashes o’ th’ cat.
• Crew that’s fit but who ‘ave strumpet in harbor sick wit’ Plague-19 should notify th’ officer o’ th’ watch.

Maintaining a clean ship:

Wash yer hands n’ hooks often wit’ soap ‘n water fer at least 20 seconds. Use hand sanitizer wit’ at least 60% rum if soap ‘n water are nah available. Yea’ll be gettin’ extra rations of grog.

Avoid touchin’ yer eyes, nose, ‘n mouth, or punchin’ others in the face wit’ unwashed hands.

Cover yer mouth ‘n nose wit’ a bit o’ sailcloth when ye cough or sneeze or use th’ inside o’ yer mate’s elbow. Throw used cabin boys overboard ‘n immediately wash hands wit’ soap ‘n water fer at least 20 seconds. If soap ‘n water are nah available, take a good swig of at least 60% rum.

Clean n’ disinfect frequently fondled objects ‘n surfaces such as hammocks, marlinspikes, belaying pins, yardarms, ‘n yer knob. Dirty surfaces can be swabbed wit’ soap ‘n water prior t’ disinfection. T’ disinfect, use loot that meets the Pirate’s Code fer use against the Plague-19, ‘n are commandeered fer th’ job.

Possible impact on our plunderin’:

Our work often involves hand t’ hand fightin’. If we see an enemy ship, we shall raise th’ yellow Jolly Roger as a warnin’. Then we shall run th’ bastards down ‘n threaten t’ breathe on them unless they give up thar cargo. At all times we shall stay at least a fathom apart from th’ enemy.

This order remains in place til further notice!

Signed

Captain Diarmid “Blunderbuss” Pew

Master o’ The Fagend